i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Randomize
