Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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