I just threw up on my dentist
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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