I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Reggie can tackle my bush.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
