I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
