Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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