I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
