so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
