I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize