there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
