just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
