and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
