its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
