We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
But break dance skills will only take you so far
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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