I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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