i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
