hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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