Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
