4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
