It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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