I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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