A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
