alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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