those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
