What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Please don't give away my fajitas
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