I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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