Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
