yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Alive.
So much puke
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize