he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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