I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Randomize
