Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize