Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
