Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
