Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
