I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
