There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
