It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
