tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
