I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
