Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Randomize