just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
It's rum buckets o'clock
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Randomize
