I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
