This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
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