Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Randomize
