The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
