i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
