Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
i need some magic done to my vagina
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
