My underwear smells like fireworks.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
My bed smells like the plague
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
