Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
