Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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