i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
