I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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