some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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