Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
