Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
