Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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