i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
