I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
