Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i jhust puked up my retainher.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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