Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
