So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Randomize
