I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
