The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
