Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
