Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize