I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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