hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
