you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Randomize
