I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
