Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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