Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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