he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
