Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
My bed smells like the plague
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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