guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
