Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize