It's like God shit irony all over that family
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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