Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
